Posted 14 hours ago

rosiebeck:

nxv:

primisthebomb:

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face

Posted 14 hours ago

tybaltcapuletsbitch:

modern au where the Capulets and Montagues decide to settle their differences once and for all at Family Feud

Posted 14 hours ago

splantamello:

ballpointpun:

fuckyeahitsalltimelow:

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE LIFESAVER MINTS HAVE A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE IF IT GETS CAUGHT IN YOUR THROAT YOU CAN STILL BREATHE.

that feature sounds like a real life saver

Someone is living up to their url

Posted 14 hours ago
Posted 14 hours ago

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i romantically stand outside your window and hold up my iPhone to blast our song. a 30 second ad plays first

Posted 14 hours ago

(Source: kepka)

Posted 14 hours ago
mr-egbutt:

WAKE UP POTTER
WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO

mr-egbutt:

WAKE UP POTTER

WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO

Posted 14 hours ago
coelasquid:

This is how birds work.

coelasquid:

This is how birds work.

Posted 14 hours ago
ah-yes-im-that-artist:

meeting someone in public you were trying to avoid

ah-yes-im-that-artist:

meeting someone in public you were trying to avoid

Posted 14 hours ago

ghostsfacer:

ghostsfacer:

just got back from the vet. you guys know what my dumb dog did?

he sprained his tail. from wagging it too hard. this is the stupidest thing.

image